Americans have a strange fear of bidets. Or, at least they used to.
Nowadays, with everything happening in the world, more people are starting to love the idea of a super clean tush that requires less toilet paper.
So, here you are thinking you might want one too, but maybe you’re feeling a little intimidated.
How are you supposed to use a bidet, anyway?
Well, it isn’t rocket science but there are different types of bidets and how you use one will depend on the type.
Do not fear the bidet! I put together the ultimate guide on the proper way to use every kind of bidet.
If this is the only thing holding you back from making a bidet purchase, then I hope after reading you decide to get one yourself and transform your life!
Read on for all the details on how and when to use a bidet!
In this article:
- What is a bidet and how does it work?
- When to use a bidet
- Does a bidet clean poop?
- Types of bidet and how to use them
- Stand-Alone Porcelain Bidets
- How do you dry your bum after using a bidet?
- Bidet towel
- Do you use toilet paper before a bidet?
- Bidet Toilet Attachment
- Electric Bidets
- Built-in Bidets
- Bidet Sprayers (aka Bum Gun)
- Shower Bidet
- Portable bidet
- FAQ About How To Use A Bidet
- Bottom Line
What is a bidet and how does it work?
If you have ever traveled to Italy, then you likely understand the European love for this bathroom fixture.
They come in many forms, but the general idea is that you have a way to gently clean your bum with water and soap to keep it squeaky clean.
The way it works will depend on the type, but the old school versions are separate from your toilet and are like low sinks that you sit on and fill with water. You then wash your bum and genitals and dry off with a towel.
Those are still popular, but these days there are newer versions that are much easier to use and less messy.
You have a lot of choices when it comes to bidets so in this article I will go over several of the options and how to use each one.
When to use a bidet
Let me ask you a very personal and kind of gross question:
Have you ever pooped and no matter how much you wipe there is still poop on the toilet paper? What about when the toilet paper tears and sticks to your bum?
I am sure it happens to everybody. This is the classic case of when to use a bidet. You eventually give up and go about your day. With a not so clean bum.
And you wasted a good amount of toilet paper.
Instead, what you should do is wipe once to get the bulk of the poop gone and then head over to the bidet if it is separate, or turn on your bidet seat if you have that kind.
Then you simply finish washing your bum without needing more toilet paper and you have a much cleaner bum than you would normally.
Another time when it comes in handy is to use after you’ve been intimate. You can clean your genitals much more effectively than simply wiping down. And without needing to take a shower since you just sit down and let it wash your genitals.
Does a bidet clean poop?
That’s pretty much its entire reason for being. It is there to clean the poop off of your bum. It can also be used to clean your genitals and the area around your anus and not just for poop.
But, its main function is to use less toilet paper. Now, you still do need to use a little bit of toilet paper and when you wash, it is more effective at cleaning the poop when you use a washcloth.
Types of bidet and how to use them
How to use the bidet is going to be different according to the type.
Which type of bidet is best? That really depends on you more than anything.
Some are old school and require a little more effort on your part to use but do a great job at keeping you clean.
Others are more high tech and take a lot of work out of your hands. Literally.
Let’s go over the different kinds and go over how to use each of them. That way when you are ready to buy you will already have an idea of which type you will be most comfortable with.
Stand-Alone Porcelain Bidets
This is the classic bidet that confuses so many people when they travel to Europe.
There are two different types.
One has a faucet and you fill the bowl and wash yourself that way. Some faucets can be angled so you can also use the stream of water to angle right at your bum and use it that way without filling the bowl. It depends on the fixture.
The other has a sort of fountain that sprays up from the bowl and will gently clean your bum or genitals.
Once you have done your business in the toilet, wipe your butt and flush. Then head over to the bidet and follow the steps below.
Here is the step by step bidet guide:
Keep in mind that bidets don’t have seats so it is normal to just sit with your thighs on the rim.
You can hover above if you are using a public one, but for use in your own home there is no reason to not sit on the rim as long as you keep it clean and sanitized just as you would with a toilet seat.
How do you dry your bum after using a bidet?
Some people use toilet paper to dry their bum after. This defeats the whole purpose of using the bidet, however.
For starters, you’re likely going to have shreds of wet toilet paper stick to your butt and genitals. That will be uncomfortable when you’re going about your day after.
Secondly, the point is to use less toilet paper. If you are wiping your butt before you use the bidet and then using more to dry, you’re likely using more than you would without the bidet.
People with bidets usually have a system with their bidet towel. In households with more than one person, everybody gets their own towel. That way you are not spreading germs.
Generally speaking, people will only use the towel once and then put it in the laundry. Others use it for the whole day and then at the end of the day put it in the laundry.
There is no real consensus on this as some people only want to use it once since they feel it’s dirty. This does add to your laundry pile though.
Others don’t like the idea of adding more laundry to the pile and will use the towel multiple times, but how sanitary is that?
This is one of those deals where you find your own path and nobody needs to know how you do it.
Do you use toilet paper before a bidet?
Yes, most people wipe before they use the bidet. If there is very little poop and you are using a bidet toilet seat (See below) then you don’t really have to use toilet paper if you don’t want to.
However, there will be times even when you have a bidet attachment when you want to wipe first and then clean up after.
When you use a stand alone bidet then it definitely is a good idea to wipe first to avoid any spillage on your way to the bidet.
Bidet Toilet Attachment
These are the easiest to install and the most economical of the types of bidets. They usually go underneath the toilet seat and have a wand that sprays water up on your bum. Generally, they have a hose that attaches to the water supply that would fill the toilet tank and use pressure to spray without electricity.
Here are some of the benefits of using a bidet attachment:
- No need to move from the toilet when you are ready to clean
- Easy to adjust the temperature and spray strength
- Less messy to use and to maintain
- Doesn’t use electricity
When you first get your toilet seat attachment, make sure to figure out what all the options are beforehand.
Then when you have it installed, you can mess around with all the settings and find the right one. Some are as simple as an on and off switch, others have different spray settings.
How to use it:
An electric bidet can either be an integrated toilet seat with all the bidet controls, or an attachment like in the previous section but with far more features.
To use one, you would do everything exactly the same as in the previous section, but first take some time to get the settings right.
You’ll be able to control the spray angle, strength and whether you want it front for genitals or back for your bum. Then, there are the heat settings so you don’t have frigid water splashing your bum.
Just sit on the toilet as you normally would and then turn it on. Again, you may want to use a washcloth and soap to properly clean up after wiping first.
Look for ones that have the dryer function like the model below as it adds a level of convenience and eliminates the need to use a towel or more toilet paper to dry up.
The ultimate in convenience is to have a built in bidet and toilet combo. It’s essentially the same as the electric bidet, but you buy the toilet with it already integrated so there is nothing to mess with.
Just sit down, do your business and then wash up by using the control panel.
Bidet Sprayers (aka Bum Gun)
These are not even technically bidets. They are spray nozzles that connect with your incoming water and are attached to the wall next to the toilet for ease of use.
These are a bit tricky to use as you have to hold the spray nozzle under your bum and can’t really see what you’re doing.
When you first start using one, expect to have a stray spray happen and wet your bathroom!
There are two ways to go about using this. The first is to hold it behind your bum and spray down so the angle of the spray sends the water down your bum crack and into the toilet.
Another way is to hold the nozzle upside down and approach from the front. Spread your legs wide and reach underneath and try to angle the spray up at your anus.
This may prove to be uncomfortable as it is difficult to control the pressure of the spray from the nozzle. Too close and the pressure is too high. Too far and it isn’t enough and you risk spraying everywhere.
Here is a video so you can get an idea of how to do it properly.
This is exactly the same as the bum gun style bidet sprayer, yet it is used on the shower.
You can avoid any mess or awkward use by doing your thing in the shower instead of over the toilet.
Now, for some this means that you only end up washing your bum when you take a shower which kind of defeats the purpose.
But, that needn’t be the case. You can take off your pants and squat on the shower or tub and use the spray hose without getting yourself too wet.
It adds another step and layer of complexity, however, so they are not very popular.
Going camping and don’t want to deal with swamp butt while out on your hike?
Or, maybe you are traveling and want to make sure you don’t have to be without a bidet at the hotel or public restroom.
Then a portable bidet is the answer.
It’s essentially a squeeze water bottle but designed to use on your bum so you can have a squeaky clean anus when out and about.
Some are battery operated for a more effective spray.
If you use the squeeze version, then you’ll want to experiment with the nozzles before you take it on the road. Different sizes will have different pressures and strengths.
If you have trouble moving around then ones with a long nozzle are best as you can angle it around your anus easier. Just hold it upside down and with the nozzle head pointed up, place it under your anus. Then squeeze the bottle and move it around slightly. Not much or you may spray it around and make a mess.
A battery operated one will be different so if you decide to get one of those read the instructions carefully.
FAQ About How To Use A Bidet
Most frequent questions and answers
The electric ones do have dryers. They work just like a hand dryer in a public bathroom. A blast of warm air is directed towards the anus and quickly dries it.
For those non electric bidets, then you will need to have a bidet towel to dry your bum.
When you have the temperature settings just right, it feels really nice. Warm water makes it quite pleasant to wash and using soap does make you feel very clean after using.
It doesn’t feel gross when used properly.
This highly depends on your comfort level, but surely there are people who use it to masturbate. The feeling of the jets on your anus or genitals can feel quite good.
Using a bidet is no less sanitary than using the toilet or wiping with toilet paper.
How clean the actual fixture is depends on your cleaning practices and not so much the bidet itself.
As far as your hands getting dirty, there are the bidet attachments that can be used hands free so you don’t ever have to touch your butt.
In the case of using an old school bidet, you will wash your hands just like any other time you use the toilet so there is no difference there.
Using a bidet is somewhat revolutionary to many North Americans and Brits. But, once you try it you realize what a genius invention it is.
If you have read this far then you now know how to use a bidet and can go out and buy the one that best suits your needs!
If you have any questions, let me know by dropping a line in the box below!